Rebirth - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

She had her front paws around her mouth, in total shock of what he had just told her. Even though she had partly covered up her own face, anybody could clearly see just how much pain she was in, and how upset she was. Her eyes though, her eyes said it all: Mistrust, sorrow, but most of all, heartbreak. "You see Twilight, sometimes you can't help people. And more to the point, sometimes they just don't deserve it. I'm sorry Twilight. I never meant to hurt you." Raiko finally finished. He hated himself for ever allowing Twilight to help him. I especially regretted ever allowing himself to lose control and telling such a kindhearted person about his dark past. He certainly didn't feel better for it. All he could think was "well done Raiko, you've managed to succeed in shattering a second soul. On top of that, you've destroyed the faith and innocence of an incredibly kindhearted dragoness. Is there no limit to your destructive power? And how dare you accept help! Especially from someone as lovely as her! You don't anywhere near deserve her kindness! ". He was just about to get up and leave, feeling that he had more than outstayed his welcome, when he looked up at Twilight again. This time though, he saw anything but someone who was experiencing sorrow. This time he saw nothing but anger. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the pain that he expected to follow. He waited for several, tense seconds, but nothing came. No agonising scratches, no punch in the jaw, no scorching blast of fire to the face, nothing! He slowly opened his eyes, still expecting pain, to find Twilight at eye level with him, but still with that haunting face. Just staring into her eyes alone, sent shockwaves and shivers up Raiko's spine. It was perhaps that all he had experienced so far from Twilight was kindness that scared him the most when looking into our eyes now. All he could think of was something that his father had repeatedly taught him when he was growing up, "Son, may the Sun and Earth run for heaven and hell when a good soul goes to war." Raiko had heard this so many times when he was growing up. Now, it just taunted him, playing over and over in his mind taunting him like a ghost.  He never forgot what it meant. As difficult as it was to anger a truly good person, if you were to ever achieve it, may the ancestors help you, because no one and nothing would be safe from the fury that would be unleashed.
"That's what happened to you!" She eventually said. "Don't you see, I don't CARE what you have done, or you were. I care about who you are NOW!" She growled. Raiko however, still do not understand whether he should be terrified, respectful, sorry or relieved. Still though, looking at her now, was like looking at the edge of your own executioner's blade. Truly, horrifically terrifying. "Raiko, I can see you are. I can FEEL who you are! You don't need to believe you're a bad person. Because you're not. I can see it in your eyes. You may have lost control, but you wanted someone to pay for taking something so important and irreplaceable from your world. And more importantly, you're sorry for what you did. Which is more than that guy was." She continued. Her voice now getting slightly softer, but her face still had the impact of a tsunami when you looked at it, and eyes still had the fury of hell in them.
"But… Twilight… I… I don't… I don't deserve this. I just want to go back." Raiko managed to muster through the lump in his throat.
"You are ashamed of what you did, but you don't need to be anymore. I think you have punished yourself enough now. Don't you think you have served your sentence?" Twilight begged him.
"How can you do this? How the hell can you forgive a killer?! Don't you see Twilight? I can never complete my sentence. I want to spend the rest of my life in the wild and away from people, because that is all I deserve!" Raiko virtually yelled in desperation.
"My parents were super religious. I can't say many of their stories or views ever rubbed off on me. Suffice to say that they were not pleased about me becoming a nurse. But one of their views I did agree with was that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE deserves forgiveness if they are truly sorry. And I know that you are truly sorry. Like I said, being an empath means that it's easy to tell when people are genuine. Raiko…" She said, now taking Raiko's paw, "trust me when I say this, I don't think I've ever met anyone more genuine than you." She said softly. Raiko just sat with his head down, and eyes tightly shut. Wishing that the earth with just open up beneath him, and swallow him whole. "Raiko, now that you have opened up to me, I can see into you. I can see those memories you keep thinking of, how you always chose the part of the forest, that you knew had the least food. How you forced yourself to survive on berries and plants, and never hunted another animal. And how you always tried to pick the tree with the most vicious looking branches to sleep in. I can see it all. All those years of torturing yourself because you felt it was all you deserved." Twilight leaned into Raiko and whispered "You don't need to anymore. I'm here for you, and I forgive you." Twilight placed her arm around Raiko's shoulder, as if embracing him for a hug, but Raiko firmly pushed her away before she had the chance.
"Don't. Just don't. I'm sorry Twilight, but you've already done far too much for me. And I don't agree that EVERYONE deserves forgiveness." Raiko said as firmly as he could through the pain in his chest. Raiko summoned as much strength as he could muster, got up, and showed himself to Twilight's front door, limping slightly physical pain, trying his best to hide his discomfort. Twilight however, wasn't so easily fooled and certainly wasn't going to accept her first failure that easily.
"Raiko wait!" She shouted as he was halfway through the front door. Raiko paused for a second, and looked back at her from the starlit darkness of the outside world. "At least let me fix your wrist." Twilight said in desperation. Raiko looked down at his limp, twisted wrist. In the midst of how much emotional pain he had unearthed from his memory, he had forgotten just how much physical pain he was in as well. Now paying attention to it, the agony now began consuming him once again, the pain rocketing through him, and growing inside of him like a virus. He however, swallowed his suffering, ignoring the weakness his body was trying to show, and looked back up at Twilight.
"You've already done far more than I deserve. Thank you Twilight." He said before turning, and beginning walking again.
"But Raiko! How will you eat or sleep? You can't climb with that wrist!" She yelled again, from her front door. Raiko now beginning to look like a ghost against the darkness of night. The black figure then turned once again to look at his saviour, his green eyes glowing like ghostly lanterns in the moonlight. Even at this distance, Twilight still felt the surge of emotional strength, emanating from him. The strength from his shattered soul, surged through her and consumed her at a thousand miles an hour.
"Watch me!" He responded before disappearing off into the darkness like a ghost, As if returning to become part of the environment itself.



Even after the black one had disappeared, Twilight remained outside her door for a few minutes, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. She looked up at the nighttime sky, the Starlight dampened by congregating dark clouds, preparing to expel the stormwater they had consumed over the past few hot days. The cold, late-night air flowed through her sales, soothing her skin. She took a few moments to bring her soul into normality, enjoying the cold air filling her lungs, taking deep, steady breaths, becoming in tune with her environment. She detected the faint sound of an owl hunting an innocent mouse in the distance. For a few minutes, she just stared at the stars, replaying the past hour or so endlessly over in her mind, almost torturing herself with the infinite loops of the broken memory in her mind. If anyone was watching her, they would have thought she was completely content, almost meditating. The reality of what was inside of her however, was anything but. She replayed the memory over and over again, only able to think of how much she hated the thought of Raiko torturing himself, and what she had begun to feel for him at the beginning of the night. She had never felt so confused, and certainly didn't know what to think. Her emotions felt scrambled, like a swirling whirlpool of confusion, love and torture.

After several minutes, of sitting outside, allowing her emotions to swirl inside of her scarring her from the inside out, the cold air started to get the better of her. An icy cold shiver vibrated down her spine, and she decided it was time to go inside. She closed the door behind her, shutting out the night air, slowly walked upstairs, and almost collapsed on her bed, not bothering to clear of the mess of open bottles, bloody cloths, and bandages still situated around the room. As she laid there, the emptiness and silence of her room drowning her in darkness, the emotion she had been holding back finally began to fill her up. A single, pure tear rolled gently down her cheek, and was absorbed into the blood stained pillow.

As the pain inside her, pushed her evermore into the depths of sleep, one last thought went through her mind before she was plunged into oblivion. – "This isn't over Raiko"